By Ashley Valenzuela
April 17, 2024
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Anticipating Leadership
In my last semester of seminary, I had the chance to study leadership in depth. I read many books and articles about what it takes to be an effective leader in this quickly changing world. Week after week, I gained helpful tools that I anticipated I would take with me in my leadership roles. We spent several classes that semester discussing and rehearsing the many possibilities that we would encounter as faith leaders. I went into my post-seminary work planning to re-read all those leadership books as I faced the various challenges that would inevitably come my way.
Phone a Friend
As I began my work as a solo pastor in a small congregation, I found myself frequently facing challenges that were completely outside of the textbook examples that I had studied in seminary. I was met with situations where I had absolutely no idea what to do, what to say, or where to begin with solving the problem. Initially, I leaned heavily upon my mentors to guide me through leadership challenges. It seemed like every time I faced a new challenge I instantly reached for the phone to call a mentor. After a few months of reaching out for help with almost every difficulty, I began to experience a shift in my approach to leadership.
The shift came as I started to get too busy to call a friend for help with each new challenge. As my ministry progressed, I found myself being asked to make decisions more quickly than I was used to making them. Many of my conversations happened spontaneously and required spontaneous leadership from me. This kind of spontaneity caused insecurity in myself as I doubted my ability to make a quick decision with no one to help me and without dedicated prayer over the decision to be made. I felt the great responsibility of being a leader and longed to make sound, loving decisions to the best of my ability.
I started to wonder if I was putting too much emphasis on taking plenty of time to make perfect decisions rather than trusting that the wisdom and guidance that I needed were already present with me.
As I prayed and pondered the dilemma of needing to make decisions on the spot without adequate time to discuss, ideate, rationalize, pray, journal, etc., I embraced a new perspective on leadership. I started to wonder if I was putting too much emphasis on taking plenty of time to make perfect decisions rather than trusting that the wisdom and guidance that I needed were already present with me. I began to remember that I did not choose to be a leader out of my own desires; I believed I was called into leadership. This shift in my understanding of leadership as a call has helped me to trust in my leadership abilities in a whole new way.
The One Who Calls…
When I believe that being a leader is a call, I tend to put my trust a bit more in the one who called me. And when I put my trust in the one who called me, I trust that I am equipped for the call that I have accepted. I sense that the Holy Spirit is constantly with me and equipping me for the task to which I am called. I am reminded of the many stories throughout the Bible that point to the way that God calls ordinary people to incredible work and equips them for that call. Similarly, I believe that I, too, can trust in God to equip me for the work to which I am called.
I pay closer attention now to what my intuition is saying because I truly believe that the Spirit lives within me and that the same Spirit that called me will lead me.
What this means for me practically is that I give myself permission to trust my intuition in my daily work. When I need to make a quick decision or to address a situation without much time for preparation, I remind myself that I am called to lead in this time and place and that I can trust that the Lord is guiding me always. Yes, sometimes the Lord’s guidance comes through my mentor’s voice or through a fantastic book. Yet, I am learning to trust more deeply that my spirit can sense a gentle nudge of wisdom that leads me in the right direction. I am learning to trust that even when the noise is very loud around me, there is always a gentle whisper within. I pay closer attention now to what my intuition is saying because I truly believe that the Spirit lives within me and that the same Spirit that called me will lead me. And while I still value and cherish my calls with mentors, reading leadership books, and leaning into my peer support, I place my trust first in the one who called me and remind myself of my ability to hear when the Spirit speaks.
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Ashley Valenzuela, Polaris Fellow 2023
Ashley is passionate about living an embodied life of love toward God, self, and others. As a local pastor in the United Methodist Church, she currently serves a congregation in Austin, Texas, where she pours her energy into innovative ministry within the community. Outside of her ministry endeavors, you can typically find her with her loved ones or in the great outdoors, usually hugging a tree.
