Listen to this post.
By Hailey Hensley
June 11, 2025
An offhand comment to a friend ended up changing my life forever, and I’m so grateful it did. After a particularly difficult day a few years ago, I was lamenting my troubles to one of my closest friends over the phone. On that day, I was feeling very alone in the world, and my friend, a devoted Episcopalian, casually told me that if I ever needed it, church was always there.
I was raised in a relatively secular home, though, being from the Southern United States, one could say I was raised “culturally Southern Baptist.” By the time my friend made this comment to me in my early 20s, I was a card-carrying atheist. I laughed off his suggestion of church-going but promised that if I ever wanted to become religious, I’d become Episcopalian. We left the conversation there, and honestly, I think we both forgot about it for a while.
Yet, about two years later, I started to feel an impossible-to-ignore tug. It began with a desire to understand how people could believe in something as unbelievable as God, especially one who literally died. I don’t know what sparked it, but suddenly the desire to know something greater than myself was around every corner, even while I was trying to evade it. I went to a bookstore and bought a Bible, because I didn’t want to risk my mom seeing our shared Amazon purchase history online. I even went out of my way to tell the cashier I was only buying it for research purposes. It felt important to me to clarify that I was not a Christian.
“I don’t know what sparked it, but suddenly the desire to know something greater than myself was around every corner, even while I was trying to evade it.”
Though I grew to love my secret Bible over the following weeks, I knew it was time to be brave and meet some actual Christians in real life. So, I called the friend I had talked to all that time ago. I told him that I was cashing in on my promise and needed to know where I should go to church.
My exploration of faith was a secret that, until then, I had kept close to my chest. It felt almost embarrassing to slowly realize that I may have been wrong about God this whole time. With barely concealed excitement, he referred me to Trinity Episcopal Church in Princeton, New Jersey.
For weeks, I planned to make my first Sunday visit, and each week, by Saturday night, I had talked myself out of going. I knew I would be going alone, and I didn’t know anything about church, having never even been to church outside of my early childhood. I was terrified. What if I did the wrong thing? Surely everyone would know that I was an impostor if I went inside.
“My exploration of faith was a secret that, until then, I had kept close to my chest. It felt almost embarrassing to slowly realize that I may have been wrong about God this whole time.”
But finally, on the morning of Good Friday 2023, I woke up and decided that nothing would stop me from going to church that day. To this day, the reason I chose Good Friday eludes me, I can only attribute the choice to God. I arrived in the parking lot just a few seconds before the service was set to begin. For those who have never been to a Good Friday church service, no matter the denomination, it is a solemn affair that centers around the crucifixion of Christ.
I entered the big, red, wooden doors of Trinity Church unsure if I even believed in a God who came to live and die as one of us, and as I left those doors a weeping mess a short time later, I knew for sure that I did.
I often say that I wish my conversion was more poignant, that it made more sense to the average listener, but I fear there is no way to rationalize the God of the universe, as much as we all may try. Suddenly, I had discovered God’s love, not just for me, but for every creature in the world.
“I fear there is no way to rationalize the God of the universe, as much as we all may try. Suddenly, I had discovered God’s love, not just for me, but for every creature in the world.”
After that, every part of my life began to be reshaped by God’s love and the movement of the Spirit. I became entrenched in a Christian community; I spent every second I could in church. It felt like I could not get enough of being in God’s presence and among the Body of Christ.
Without further delay, I was baptized on the day of Pentecost, which celebrates the Holy Spirit descending upon the Church as described in Acts of the Apostles. My priest expressed that Pentecost was especially appropriate for my Baptism because I had personally experienced the descent of the Holy Spirit. I still find myself blown away by the fact that God is active and working and chose to work in me in particular.
“I have to be honest, I don’t know what’s next or where my life is headed, but I do know that I will never have to face it alone. Faith did not magically fix every issue in my life, but it did give me a community, a purpose, and a new way of being.“
My call is still unfolding in front of me, and the call resounds within me every time I have the privilege of participating in the life of the Church. I now lead daily prayers, serve on church hiring committees, and will soon be licensed to help serve Holy Communion. Even better, my mom is now very aware of my secretly purchased Bible, and I actually gave it to her as a gift so that we could have virtual Bible studies together.
I have to be honest, I don’t know what’s next or where my life is headed, but I do know that I will never have to face it alone. Faith did not magically fix every issue in my life, but it did give me a community, a purpose, and a new way of being.
Being called by God is scary, but you (and I) are more than ready to answer the call, wherever it may lead. An off-hand comment to a friend started the journey of a lifetime. And I couldn’t be more grateful that I kept that promise.
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Hailey Hensley
Hailey (she/her) is a Public Relations professional for the New Jersey State government where she helps coordinate statewide communications efforts regarding public safety and emergency preparedness. She is also highly involved within the Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey and serves as a lector and acolyte within her parish, as well as various other lay leadership positions. Hailey has a B.A in Public Relations from Rider University and is currently pursuing her M.A in Theology at Georgian Court University.