By Jewel Koshy
August 14, 2024
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The 2020 Pandemic: A Year of Uncertainty
There aren’t enough words to describe the uncertainty and fear 2020 brought. Did we ever imagine wearing masks and being locked in the house for almost two years? It felt like we were living in an unending sci-fi thriller. I was waiting for the director to yell, “CUT!”
Fall of 2020 was the start of my senior year of undergrad, and there was a possibility that all my classes would be virtual. I asked my professor once a week if our school would open. She continued to reassure me that the university was doing everything in their power to resume in-person classes. Thankfully, my prayers were answered, and I was privileged to finish my senior year on campus. At the same time, I was given the opportunity to be a student worker at health services. Little did I know that job would be the genesis to discovering my true passion.
This continual duality often left me to navigate the tension between the privilege of understanding and the responsibility of empathy.
Being a student worker allowed me to relate and empathize with the student body in ways that others couldn’t. I was consistently playing on two sides of the field. I was a student who naturally understood science, and I did not understand COVID-19. I continuously researched COVID policies, and I just wanted to walk across that stage. I was not afraid of vaccines and scientific terminology, and I was scared that something would go wrong. This continual duality often left me to navigate the tension between the privilege of understanding and the responsibility of empathy.
Not a single day went by without a conversation about COVID, protocols, or vaccines. I took these conversations to my personal social media page and started posting weekly updates on COVID research and guidelines. My DMs felt like numerous therapy sessions filled with individuals sharing their fears, concerns, and mistrust with healthcare.
As the weeks went by and the mistrust gap grew larger, it dawned on me that people trust me even though they mistrust the system.
Through countless hours of conversations, I realized two main things: 1) there is a major disconnect between the healthcare system and people, and 2) there is no trust in healthcare. As the weeks went by and the mistrust gap grew larger, it dawned on me that people trust me even though they mistrust the system.
The Weight of Trust: A Sacred Responsibility
An individual’s trust comes with sacredness and accountability. I grappled with this weight of trust and felt its internal call to action. This new revelation of trust felt different. It was heavy, unshakable, and more.
But this more felt minuscule compared to my senior capstone project, two jobs, and awful physics class. Surely, I was already answering the call by going to medical school, becoming a doctor, and making a great impact on the system. Deep down, I knew that this was more than an MD behind my name, but I couldn’t carry the weight of trust and everything else. I had to set my eyes on graduation and prepare for med school. Surely, I couldn’t lean into my own understanding—I was trusting in God to make my path straight (Proverbs 3:5–6).
I grappled with this weight of trust and felt its internal call to action.
I didn’t go far without being reminded of this trust. I had to complete a final project for my bioethics class. It was over any bioethical issue in healthcare. I chose to research and learn the why behind the mistrust in the healthcare system. My final topic was “A Review of Racial Bias in Healthcare.” I found that the poor healthcare experience of many minorities in the United States led to a major disconnect between these groups and the field of medicine. This disconnect affects access to healthcare, the quality of healthcare, maternal care, and much more. Not only did this paper reiterate the sacredness of trust, but it also gave me vocabulary to explain my true passion: to end disparities in healthcare.
Sacrificed “Dreams” for Divine Purpose
Ignorantly, I still tried to hide behind my “dream” of going to med school. After graduation, I studied for the med school entrance exam, and I was miserable every month of studying. In all honesty, I didn’t know what to do, but I knew something was missing. I felt a strong burden to make a difference in healthcare now, not 10 years later after med school. This meant something had to change. Ultimately, my lack of knowledge coupled with this misery led me back to the time when I was a student worker who felt the sacredness and accountability of an individual’s trust and the weighty feeling of more.
I finally realized that these individuals mattered more to me than my so-called dream. Their stories mattered, and their fears needed to be heard. These disparities do not belong to one person. They are ours. After all, this is loving your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30–31). We are called to advocate for ourselves and for others.
These disparities do not belong to one person. They are ours.
I could no longer ignore the whispers, the calling, the persistent feeling that I couldn’t shake or forget. I had to address the healthcare disparities I had discovered. Embracing this discovery chiseled away at my expectations, dreams, and comfort. Amid this change, three things remained: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13).
In the name of love, I laid down my dream of becoming a doctor. I picked up the accountability for this trust again and pursued the more.
This birthed my true dream, Our Health Advocate. OHA’s vision is to end disparities in healthcare through education and self-advocacy. This future organization will empower every individual with the tools and knowledge to navigate the complex world of healthcare and to become their own best advocate. Currently, OHA is a social media page that provides educational content and more. In the future, we hope to be a nonprofit that offers a comprehensive list of trusted providers in every state and financial resources to alleviate burdens, such as medical debt and prescription costs. Together, we’re building a brighter, healthier future for all.
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Jewel Koshy, founder of Our Health Advocate
Jewel Koshy is an aspiring public health professional with a background in biology, holding a BS from Southeastern University. She is dedicated to empowering individuals through her digital platform, Our Health Advocate, where she educates on navigating the healthcare system and fostering self-advocacy. With over a decade of ministry experience, Jewel currently serves as the marketing director for The Embrace Collective, a ministry for individuals on diverse faith journeys. Passionate about coffee, faith, and community, Jewel is committed to nurturing spaces where individuals can connect, learn, and thrive.
